Four Months Out

My sweet Ava is now four months old, which is just WILD. I remember so vividly a year ago, thinking that I would have a four month old baby in January 2020, and how crazy that seemed even then. Now, it seems even stranger. How do I have a four month old?

Ava is such a beautiful and wonderful soul, and I truly feel blessed to be her mom. She’s growing and growing and growing, and learning so much every day that I feel like time must speed up around babies. One day with her is like 10 for adults, so she makes each of them count as she develops.

Four months! What do I want to remember about four months? The answer is EVERYTHING.

I want to remember how she loves to grab onto things, particularly my hair, and also a little finger as she takes her bottle, and also our shirts as we hold her like the little koala baby that she is, and how she’ll come away clutching strands of my hair like a tiny trophy.

I want to remember how she’ll lie in the bed and coo at us, and talk back and forth with us with that SWEET little voice, and how she has such a variety of sounds that range from sweet little coos, to chirping little noises that mean “I’m hungry” or “I’m awake, come get me”, to lilting laughs, to shrieks of either happiness or unhappiness, to this specific angry objection when we take her bottle away to burp her. I want to remember how verbal she is, and how she looks like she’s trying SO HARD to talk to us, but doesn’t have the words.

I want to remember how she loves her kick piano and how the first time she kicked and made the noise, she looked at me with what can only be described as wonderment, like she was in awe that she made that sound.

I want to remember the way she loves to dance, and how she loves to be sung to, and so now, Josh and I dance around and sing to her all the time, even in public, because who cares if we look silly when our baby is smiling and laughing with us. I want to remember her favorite songs – You Are My Sunshine, Wheels on the Bus, Three Little Birds, Georgia on My Mind (which we change to “Ava On Our Minds”), and Nothing Can Change This Love (Sam Cooke, which I’ve sung to her since she was born).

I want to remember her serious little face, and her furrowed brow, and how sometimes she looks JUST like Josh, and then she’ll look away or change, and then she looks some like me, but mostly just like her own little person.

I want to remember the feel of her warm body when she falls asleep on my chest, and the rustly sound of the diaper when we bounce and pat her to sleep, and how she’ll sigh in her sleep so contentedly. I want to remember how she smiles with her whole body, with this big big smile and then a curl and turn, and how it never fails to make anyone on the receiving end SO happy too.

I know parts of these will come with me in the years moving forward, but I constantly feel like I’m collecting little memories and trying to hold them all in my arms, and now that there are SO many to hold, I’m so worried about dropping some of them and someday forgetting these little things that I love so much! I hope this blog helps me hold onto them for her, but mostly for me.

Happy Four Months, my love, you are perfect!

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